


Dana Scully Kisses Like Eleanor Roosevelt

by leslieknopedanascully



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M, The X-Files References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 05:24:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4335548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leslieknopedanascully/pseuds/leslieknopedanascully
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leslie and Ben watch The X-Files: Fight the Future. They discuss aliens and have a very *ahem* hands-on discussion about Mulder and Scully's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dana Scully Kisses Like Eleanor Roosevelt

**Author's Note:**

> Mulder and Scully have ruined my life to the point that I'm dragging my favorite fictional characters into the fiery depths of X-Files Hell with me.

It was nearing midnight at the Knope-Wyatt household. The living room looked like a yard sale—the floor littered with the triplet’s toys and BEN WYATT FOR CONGRESS campaign signs. Leslie and Ben had long since learned that trying to keep the house organized was a waste of energy, because almost as soon as they’d get everything picked up off the floor, the Triplet Tornado would come roaring through and within seconds the amount of broken crayons, doll clothes, and stuffed animals that the Knope-Wyatts owned seemed to multiply tenfold.

            At the moment, the little cyclones were tucked in bed sleeping and Leslie and Ben were curled up on the couch, Leslie resting her head on Ben’s shoulder while she flipped through the channels on the TV.

            “Let’s watch that one!” Ben said suddenly.

            Leslie took her finger off the remote’s channel button. The TV screen settled on the image of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson running through a swarm of bees.

            Leslie perked up. “Is this _Fight the Future_?”

            “Yup!” Ben could recognize the ‘90s sci-fi movie from the briefest glimpse, the most obscure line of dialogue. He’d lost count of how many times he’d seen the first X-Files movie, but the number was most likely in the hundreds. _Fight the Future_ was certainly no _Blade Runner_ , but Ben liked to play it in the background while cooking or while putting together his model Death Star.

            “Babe, when you’re elected—”

            “ _If_ I’m elected,” Ben corrected.

            Leslie squeezed her husband’s knee. “ _When_ you’re a congressman, if you play your cards right, you’ll be in on the alien conspiracy.”

            “Right.” Ben laughed. “And maybe the aliens will abduct our kids.”

            “Don’t even joke about that,” Leslie said sharply.

            Ben kissed the top of Leslie’s head. “Maybe our kids _are_ aliens. That would certainly explain their uncanny ability to seemingly be everywhere at once.”

            “I’m serious, Ben,” Leslie said, “you’re going to have to talk to the right people, buddy up with the NASA committee—I mean they’re surely in on the conspiracy, right? And even though you’ll probably be sworn to secrecy, you have to tell me everything, okay? We’re married, which means you’re contractually obligated to tell many any and all information about the government’s attempts to cover up evidence of extraterrestrial life.”

            Ben leaned back and studied his wife’s face. Though she had a playful glint in her blue eyes, the steady line of her lips told him that Leslie was being completely serious.

            “Leslie…you know _The X-Files_ is fiction, right?”

            “Of course Mulder and Scully are fictional, but the conspiracy is real, Ben.”

            “Leslie, you don’t actually believe…”

            “Ben, are you saying you don’t believe in aliens?”

            “Are you saying that you do?”

            Leslie and Ben stared at each other for a long moment, neither one quite sure if the other was joking or not.

            “I can’t believe I married a skeptic,” Leslie muttered to herself.

            “Did you think I believed in aliens?”

            “I thought you'd at least _want_ to believe in them. I mean you love science fiction so much…”

            “Science _fiction_ , Leslie. Do you know how unlikely it is that there are intelligent beings in the universe that we haven’t discovered yet? It just seems logically impossible—”

            “But we _have_ discovered them, the government is just hiding it from us.”

            “And if you think about it from a biological standpoint, it just seems really far-fetched considering the—”

            Leslie cut off Ben with a kiss.

            “Why don’t we watch the movie?” she said.

            On the screen, Mulder stormed after Scully in a hallway of the Hoover Building.

            _“But you saved me. As difficult and as frustrating as it’s been sometimes, your goddamn strict rationalism and science has saved me a thousand times over. You’ve kept me honest. You’ve made me a whole person. I owe you everything, Scully. And you owe me nothing. I don’t know if I want to do this alone. I don’t even know if I can.”_

            As Mulder and Scully gazed at each other, Leslie nestled deeper into the crook of Ben’s arm. Scully kissed Mulder’s forehead. Both completely engrossed in the movie, Ben and Leslie watched Mulder and Scully’s faces move closer and closer, their lips parting, about to kiss, until—

            “God _damn_ it!” Ben exclaimed.

            “Ben! You’re going to wake the kids.”

            “Sorry. But couldn’t they have kissed sooner? Or why couldn’t the bee have waited just a _bit_ longer before stinging Scully?”

            “Babe, you’ve seen this movie at least a dozen times. The bee shouldn’t be a surprise.”

            “I know, I know. It’s just…” Ben sighed. “Every time I watch I think _this time might be different_.”

            Leslie kissed her husband on the cheek, a coy smile playing at her lips.

            “You know, I bet it would have been a really sexy kiss if the bee hadn’t come along,” Leslie said.

            “You think?” Ben said, grinning. He leaned into Leslie, his lips brushing her ear as he whispered, “what do you think it would have been like?”

            Leslie pushed Ben back into the couch.  

            “Why don’t I show you?” she said, straddling him. Her hands tangled in Ben's hair, Leslie hungrily planted her mouth on Ben’s.

            “Whoa,” Ben said breathlessly between kisses, “Scully likes the tongue…like Eleanor Roosevelt, but more… _aggressive_.”

            Leslie pulled her face away from his and tilted her head. The way she bit her lip and smiled sent shivers down Ben’s spine.

            “This kiss is five years in the making, Agent Mulder,” she said. A blonde curl slipped from behind from her ear, the ends of her hair tickling Ben’s cheek. “We have a lot to make up for.”

            And Leslie certainly kissed Ben with the fierceness of a woman with five years worth of pent-up passion. Such emotions were not difficult to imagine, as for the past month Ben’s campaign, Leslie’s hectic job, and the triplets had kept Ben and Leslie so busy that some nights they climbed into bed so tired that goodnight kisses rested stagnate on their lips, forgotten.

            “Do you want to see something out of this world, Mulder?” Leslie said, pulling off her blouse and tossing it across the room. The shirt landed on the Barbie dollhouse that lay overturned on the floor next to the coffee table.

            Ben pulled Leslie close, his hand sliding up her back until his fingers intertwined with the strap of her bra.

            “We’re at work, Scully. It’s very unprofessional of you to be wearing just your underwear,” he said as he undid the clasp on Leslie’s bra.

            “Wait, we’re at work?” Leslie said, breaking character.

            “Aren’t we picking up from the movie?” Ben said.

            “You mean we’re about to have sex in a hallway of the Hoover building?”

            “I was thinking maybe we had gone down to the office. Where did you think we were?”

            “Mulder’s couch.”

            “I don’t they would have been able to wait until they got to Mulder’s apartment.”

            “They’ve already waited five years and—you know what. It doesn’t matter. We’re killing the mood. Kiss me, Mulder.”

* * *

 

Leslie was working on tugging Ben’s pants off when she heard the sound of footsteps pitter pattering down the stairs and a small voice say, “Mommy?”

            _“Shit,”_ Ben muttered, trying to grasp at his pants, a task which proved quite difficult with Leslie sitting on him.

            Leslie pulled on the nearest shirt, which happened to be Ben’s, and jumped off the couch. Luckily, the positioning of the couch and the staircase prevented little Stephen Knope-Wyatt from being able to see his parents groping at each other on the couch like teenagers.

            “What’s wrong, Stevie?” Leslie said.

            Stephen was standing at the foot of the stairs, clutching his Lil Sebastian stuffed animal, his eyes red and puffy.

            “I had a bad dream,” he said, sniffling.

            “Aw, I’m sorry, sweetie. Do you want me to check under the bed for monsters?”

            Stephen nodded. “Can we sing the Monster Under the Bed Friendship song?”

            “Of course, kiddo,” Leslie said, “How else are we going to make the monsters our friends?”

            Before walking over to the staircase and scooping her son up in her arms, Leslie leaned over the back of the couch and whispered in Ben’s ear, _“We’ll finish this later, Mulder.”_


End file.
